The Grey Journal

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Sermon the Second: On Dirt (and related things)

may 10, 2020

    Here's a poem.

bury me in cool damp soil
fill my lungs with rich black earth
let me rest from awful toil
I have struggled since my birth

scour clean my bones with beetles
shape and body melt to naught
purge me of the world's evils
render me to cleansing rot

let my flesh become the world
I become a thousand forms
my potential is unfurled
in the shape of flies and worms

long ago I once was one
now my true life has begun

    I often daydream about being buried alive (or dead, it doesn't matter either way). One of my life goals is to take a nap in an open (preferably empty) grave. This lead to a short conversation with my father about whether or not entering open graves counts as trespassing. I think it doesn't, because cemeteries are public places, open to visitors, and graves are indeed part of them. Additionally, I can't be charged with grave robbing or whatever they call digging up corpses these days, because a. I didn't dig that grave, and b. the grave is empty (besides myself). The only problem I cause is a minor inconvenience to whomever was planning on sticking a dead body in that grave I was taking a nice nap in. So I'll probably be fine. I hear sleeping in a grave is very restful.

    I haven't posted about it on here yet, because I'm notoriously forgetful about updating any sort of journal, but a few weeks ago I went clambering around in some drainage tunnels underneath the local Wal-Mart. I'd say those tunnels were definitely more than six feet underground, so (not counting my sibling, who lives in the same house as me and thus doesn't count) I think it counts as social distancing. Anyway, I had quite an experience. Lots of adrenaline. When you're underground in a five-foot-wide metal drainage tunnel sloshing through the darkness and clear water, the distinction between "scared" and "excited" is a bit null. Ever since then I've been looking around my immediate vicinity for similar locations, but the only places in walking distance (a much smaller metal drainage tunnel and a big square concrete one, both running just under the road) have been exceedingly gross. I long for the cleanliness of the Wal-Mart drainage tunnels. They seem like such a great place to chill. Turns out, I like dark enclosed underground spaces. It was a bit of a spiritual awakening, really, and now as soon as I can drive myself places, I plan to go explore more such locations. Anywhere with lots of concrete and metal but no people.

    Maybe there's something about being underground that I find comforting. Wrapped in the cool embrace of the earth and all that. I dunno what the point of all this is. Maybe you should check out your local drainage tunnels. Give it a try!